Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him - Warren

Did you hear the one about the guy?
Never mind I forget the punch line
Pause in silence, Wait for applause
Your knees get weak as the curtain falls

The Muffin Man doesn't live here anymore
He didn't like the scene
The laugh track is skipping on the score
As I entertain ye

CHORUS

Rectum? Damn near killed him
At the University
Rectum? Damn near killed him
Is what they would say to me

My mouth is starting to ad lib
As I'm humming music from the Gibb
Living jokes that nobody gets
But I got a 12 inch pianist

Answering to every boss
From Springsteen to Tony Danza
Set me up for one more loss
Spaz out like George Costanza

REPEAT CHORUS

She asked “Which one were you?” at the show
I said “pay attention as the credits roll"
He said with a grin  “Do you want to go?
Starting to quote lines in stereo

Hey buddy, I don’t think these
Are Little Richard’s shoes
Popcicle stick obituaries
And the band plays the blues

REPEAT CHORUS